My Soul Weeps
by FiktionalParadox
Summary: [Post AC, CloTi fic] On the evening of New Years' Day, Tifa was just having an ordinary day...until she received the worst news she could ever hear...
1. The News

**My Soul Weeps**  
Chapter One: The News

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Wearily lying down on her bed, Tifa took a few deep breaths to bring some energy back into her body. Exhausted from the work she had put in for the evening, a frown almost appeared on her face, the feeling of regret flooding itself into her brain for deciding to give a two-day New Years' Eve and Day sale for 7th Heaven. Closing her eyes, Tifa folded her hands behind her head, resting it in her palms. She figured that she mind as well use the rest she had right now, as she had to wake up in 10 hours to open up 7th Heaven once again to the public.

_Good thing Cid, Cloud, & Yuffie were able to help me out these past few days...I thought I was going to collapse a few times while working...there were so many customers, I was beginning to think that it was Black Friday..._

_Too bad Barret couldn't make it, he's still down at North Corel watching Marlene & Denzel...no matter how many times I may say to myself that they're a lot of work watching them, I miss them...they almost feel like they're my real children...and Vincent...I'm not sure about him...he sure is a great help to us -_

"Ay, Tifa!" A male voice shouted, a loud boom also erupting from the door abruptly being swung wide open and hitting the dresser adjacent to it. Tifa flinched a little, startled from the sudden noise and unwillingly sat up from her rest. Realizing that the voice belonged to the pilot known as Cid Highwind, she relaxed as she stood up, moving a few bangs away from her amber eyes.

"Oh damn I'm sorry...I didn't know you were restin' in here but...you got any tea around here? I wanted to fix my ass a cup or two before I go."

_Sometimes I wonder if that's all he ever drinks..._

"Of course Cid, there's a box of tea downstairs in the big closet next to the front counter. And if you need to add any other condiments to it, they're on the shelf below the box."

Cid let loose a small smile, taking his cigarette out only to blow a ring of smoke from his lips to say a few more words before he stepped out of the door.

"Thanks."

_You're welcome...(cough) Note to self: remind Cid from this day forward to not smoke in my room ever again...  
_

Free falling chest first onto her comfortable world of paradise known as her bed, Tifa sighed as she reached over to her left to turn on the lamp to give the room some light. Tifa took a few moments to look out her window at the sky; it slowly began to change from a medium blue to a dark purple color, the sign that nighttime was just around the corner.

"Knock knock!" A young voice chimed, lightly tapping on the bedroom door.

_Can't I get some peace...? (sigh) Well, it's Yuff...she's the only real girl friend I've got around here..._

"Come in Yuffie..."

The small ninja opened the door, a little grin on her face as she walked in and plopped down on the bed next to Tifa, her face only a few inches away from hers.

_I swear...if she doesn't move her face right now..._

"Yuffie...?"

"Yeah?"

"A little space, please."

"Well sorrrrrrrr-reeeeeeeeeeee!" Scooting over a little away from Tifa, she took a small rolled up bag full of money and placed it in front of the brunette.

"But anyway...Tif...here's a few tips I made...I'm giving them to you, you deserve 'em."

"Aw Yuff, thanks..."

"Hey, what are friends for? Well, I gotta get goin', Vinnie's supposed to give me a ride back home," The ninja gave Tifa a little hug and hopped off the bed, her back toward Tifa as she headed toward the door. "See ya later Tif! Good night!"

"You too Yuffie..."

Before closing the door, Tifa could hear the ninja shouting 'All right Vinnie, I'm coming, hold ya horses, jeez!', making her almost burst with laughter. Just thinking of the two together would get her started with chuckles under her breath, but at the same time, she thought it was kinda cute even though they were opposites of each other. But as they say, opposites attract, and Yuffie and Vincent were a good example of that saying. Hearing her stomach growl with a low rumble, Tifa began her journey down the stairs to the closet, examining each shelf to see the possibilities of what she could eat.

_Graham crackers...no, already had those for a snack earlier..._

_Tuna...for lunch, yeah, but right now? No..._

_I guess I'll fix myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with some milk..._

After carefully swiping enough peanut butter and jelly onto separate slices of bread, Tifa squished the two pieces of bread together, quickly taking a bite to let her stomach have a little food to digest on while she put the glass of milk up to her lips. After a quick sip, Tifa began tapping her fingers on the counter top, sighing as she rested her elbows in front of her on the counter and had her chin cradled in her hands. Even though the man she was thinking of had went out for a late-night delivery, it had been almost half a day since he departed and the thought of him not returning made her stomach feel uneasy.

_It's so quiet without you here Cloud, I wish you were here..._

Taking the last bite of her sandwich, Tifa put her plate in the sink along with her glass before flicking the room lights off. Slowly walking up the narrow stairway up to her bedroom, Tifa could feel sleep coming over her once again. Skipping her usual ritual of changing into her pajamas, Tifa slipped out of her black top and dress, also simultaneously kicking her black and white shoes off into the corner of the room.

_I'll put up the clothes in the morning..._

Resetting her alarm clock on the dresser a few feet across from her bed to ring at 6 A.M., Tifa switched her lamp off and crawled under the covers legs first with multiple thoughts running through her mind. However, one stood out from the rest as she remembered the time 10 P.M. illuminating on the clock.

_Cloud...please make it home safe..._

------------------------------

Awakening to a loud ringing noise, Tifa slowly sat up, yawning and stretching her arms above her head. Instinctively reaching to her alarm clock, the face reading 3 A.M. shocked her as she realized it was not the right time for the alarm to be going off.

_Hold on, that's not the alarm...that's my PHS..._

Running over to her small, black folded cell-phone ringing and vibrating on her dresser, Tifa opened it up and held it up to her ear.

"...Hello...?" Her sleepy, soft voice asked, listening to a deep, gruff voice speak with panic and sadness on the other end. Recognizing the voice as her best friend Barret, her eyes widened as the words he was speaking to her just could not have been believable at all. Her mouth wide open, a loud bang erupting from her room as the result of her cell phone suddenly dropping from her hand in great awe over what she had just heard.

"Oh my God...this can't...BE HAPPENING!!!" Tifa fell to her knees and her hands, unanticipatedly breaking out into fierce tears between her words as her sobs became louder and more intense, each tear dropping silently onto the hard, wooden floor. Her mind could not even bare to accept the news Barret had given to her.

"Cloud...I can't believe you're...you're..."

_Dead..._


	2. Slowly Taking in the Pain

**My Soul Weeps  
Chapter Two: Slowly Taking in the Pain**

**A/N:** Much thanks to elebelly for her review! Since I'm on vacation for a few more weeks, it should take me maybe a day or two to update to the third chapter. I tried adding more characters to this one, let me know if I made them OOC or not, thanks. And to take away some confusion, this chapter is in Tifa's P.O.V.

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_I just couldn't believe it...I can't..._

_**AT ALL.** _

_I just can't come to grips that Cloud is...is..._

_**I can't even say it**..._

_I don't want to feel the tears running down my face anymore, just from saying that word...the D word...or any other word that is related to it along with Cloud's name..._

_It's been a few days now since we all got the news...we met at Aerith's old church to get together and say our last few respects to Cloud. The water still flourishing in the middle of the church appeared as clean as when it first appeared when we were able to cure the people of Geostigma. We all gathered around it...Cid...Vincent...Yuffie...Nanaki...& Barret...Denzel & Marlene were being watched by Elmyra in North Corel...Barret didn't think it was a good idea for them to come, especially Denzel...he would just be crushed, with Cloud being a hero and almost like a father figure to him._

_I couldn't hold in my tears that day...I bawled my entire heart out; it felt so horrible, I wished it was just a nightmare...and that at any second, I would wake up in my bed and I would find Cloud still alive, rushing out the door to do another delivery..._

_After all this time, I wish I had the chance to tell him..._

_**...That I loved him.**_

_We weren't able to do a real funeral, as Cloud's body was unable to be found. According to the reports given, he was buried deep underneath a terrible avalanche up near Icicle Inn. He had to go up there to deliver a package to one of our faithful customers. I remember hearing about it on the news, but the thought of Cloud being in there was a thought that never crossed my mind...after days of searching under many feet of snow, they were unable to find him, nor the other people who were living there, sadly trapped inside their homes left to die as well weeks later...God, I feel so sorry for them..._

"Tifa! Ain't you gonna at least eat SOMETHIN?"

I quickly broke out of my deep thoughts after hearing Barret's voice across the table from me. We were in the dining room of 7th Heaven, which was situated next to the bar area. I turned my gaze over to his face which was full of frustration, and I don't blame him. I haven't eaten in days...I just can't find myself doing it. I feel so full of hurt and sorrow to take a bite to eat or even a sip of water.

"I just can't Barret..." I answered as I looked into his eyes, which were probably threatening me to eat now...or else. My mind was thinking 'or else', unfortunately. "I just can't..."

I heard him sigh as he continued to eat the rest of the food off of his plate along with Cid & Yuffie, who were at the table with me on the left and the right of me, respectively. Vincent and Nanaki had decided to return to their homes, leaving the four of us here. Yuffie decided to stay with me for a while, and I thank her a lot for that.

"Damn it, Tifa...you gotta eat somethin', or at least do some shit that will help you cheer up from what happened..." Cid added to Barret's words, and after he spoke he took a large gulp of tea from his tall glass.

"I don't like seein' you like this one bit Tif...It just isn't like you at all to be **this** down..." Yuffie's brown eyes looked the most concerned I had ever seen them, and she almost convinced me with her words, but it just wasn't enough. I just couldn't take it anymore and I stood up, almost knocking the full plate in front of me off of the table.

"I'm sorry guys, but I just need some time alone..."

God, I wish I could control my tears much better, but I could feel them escaping from my eyes once again as I ran away from the table and up the stairway to my place of refuge: my room.

_Maybe if I just give myself some rest...I'll feel at least a LITTLE better..._

I couldn't bare to look at the picture of Cloud and I from a few months ago sitting on my bookshelf. The two of us were standing in front of 7th Heaven while Yuffie volunteered to take the picture. To this day, I still wonder why she did that. But nonetheless, it was my favorite picture out of all of the other pictures hanging around my room, and thinking about that one picture of us makes me feel very uneasy. Without getting under the covers of my bed, I flopped onto it, landing in the middle, and wrapped my arms around my favorite, soft pillow. Just feeling my face on its warm, soft features made me fall asleep in an instant. However, my thoughts still ran rampant through my mind.

_Why didn't I tell him...why didn't I at least show more of my feelings to him...I regret the both of us not being able to talk that much, with Cloud being away a lot and all..._

With that said, my eyes fell closed one last time and I could feel my breathing become slower and slower, the sign that my body had drifted off to sleep.

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_**Tifa...**_

_**Tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii...faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...**_

_**Helloooooooooooooooooooooooo?**_

_**Tifa, you there?**_

_**TI-FA! WAKE UP!**_

_Huh? Where am I?_

I sat up, shaking my head as I looked all around me, only to find that everything around me was white: above me, below me, to the sides of me...**everything.**

_**Tifa, do you remember me?**_

The voice swirling around in my head echoed throughout my mind as I looked upward, answering the voice with my mind._**  
**_

_Aerith..._

I knew that voice from anywhere...it was Aerith, but..._where_ is her voice _coming_ from? Looking from side to side, I couldn't find a trace of her for miles, if the concept of miles even existed here. Standing up, I almost felt dizzy; the thought of walking somewhere could end up confusing myself as there seemed to be no markers or anything to help me retrace my steps. I soon realized there was no point anyway, since it was only a dream...I think?

_Aerith...show yourself...where are you?_

_**Turn around Tifa!**_

I turned around, and sure enough, Aerith stood behind me about a few yards away with her usual close-lipped smile, her hands folded behind her back as she started walking toward my direction. Standing only a few feet away from me, Aerith's face became more serious as she eerily sensed that I was about to bombard her with questions.

_What are you doing here? Where am I? Why am I here?_

_**First, I'm here to help you -**_

_With WHAT?_

_**Tifa, let me finish...I'm here to help you relax...as of right now, you're in a deep sleep but also in something similar to what is known as a coma...you've been in one for almost a day now so far. Cid, Yuffie, & Barret left after you fell asleep, they do not know you're still here in your room.**_

_My God..._

_**You're here because I want to show you someone...okay, it's safe to come out now!**_

Materializing out of thin air, a familiar muscular figure began to suddenly form in front of my eyes; the result of all of the pieces of his body coming together almost caused my knees to buckle. My eyes and mouth were left wide open in awe. The man's familiar glowing gaze coming from his eyes absolutely captivated me. He began to walk toward me, looking at Aerith at a second before passing her to come up to me.

"Cloud..." That was the only word I could let loose from my nervous lips at that moment, as I didn't think that I would ever see him again. "Oh my God..."

"Tifa...Aerith was able to give me the chance to see you again..." His hand gently caressed my face, a gentle flush beginning to flood my face with heat. I smiled for a second, very grateful to see Cloud's handsome face once again. I could almost feel my knees weaken once again, my body almost hypnotized by Cloud's touch.

"Cloud..."

"I felt so terrible...not being able to talk to you again."

_**Cloud...remember what I told you...**_

Cloud nodded at Aerith after she had spoken to him. Aerith stood behind Cloud with her arms crossed, moving her eyes back and forth between the two of us talking. His eyes' focus returned back to mine, serving as a distraction to his lips inching toward mine. For a minute, the feeling of our mouths embracing felt so real and full of passion and I wrapped my left arm around his waist. Without telling my free hand, I could sense it pressing gently against his muscular chest.

_Wait a minute..._

I suddenly pulled my lips away from his and backed a few feet away, as the high his kiss gave me began to sink back down and away from my heart. Cloud's eyes widened slightly with surprise, but he was able to keep his composure. I could sense that I had threw him off a little bit, but I had to get a few things off of my chest while I was still here...before I woke up from my "coma".

"Cloud...how come you never showed me these feelings before?"

"..."

"Cloud!"

"...To be honest, I was still harboring feelings for Aerith..."

"Cloud..."

"...And I didn't know how to deal with those feelings...but about a month ago, I realized that...even though I loved Aerith, I had more feelings for...**you**..."

I could sense that Cloud was speaking the truth, and I couldn't hold it inside any longer. I threw my arms around him, burying my head in his chest, letting all of my frustrations, joy, & anger flow out of my body through my tears.

_I know that I'm only in a coma...but I wish this feeling could last forever..._

"Cloud, please...don't leave me again, ever..."

"I won't Tifa," I could feel his hand running through my hair, and I was glad he was able to bear my cries. I closed my eyes, almost forgetting that what I had said would never come true. "I won't."

------------------------------

Opening my eyes, the feeling of Cloud's body disappeared, as did Aerith's figure standing behind him. Turning from side to side, I realized that I was alone. All I could see was white once again and the dizziness returned to my body.

"Aerith!?!"

_**You rang Tifa?**_

Aerith suddenly appeared right beside me with a burst of light flashing brightly for a second, then disappeared as quickly as it came. Giving me her trademark smile, she stood as if waiting for me to speak. So, I did.

"What's going on? Where did Cloud go?" I asked, wiping the last few tears left from under my eyes with the back of my hands.

"I only gave you that vision to see if your feelings for Cloud were really true...I didn't doubt you for a second, but I had to make sure before I tell you this..." Aerith paused for a minute, her face more serious than I had ever seen it appear before. "In that vision, what took place is what would have happened if Cloud had actually appeared in your dream...that is, if he was..._actually_ dead."

"Wh...what? You mean that...?"

"Yes...Cloud is **still alive**."


	3. My Second Chance

**My Soul Weeps  
** Chapter Three: My Second Chance

**A/N:** This chapter is still in first-person (from Tifa's P.O.V.) and I think I'll keep it that way for the rest of the fic. It's also shorter than the first two but I promise the fourth chapter will be longer. Much thanks to DemonLoulou for the review of Ch. 2 as well as anyone else taking the time to read this fic! Please R&R, leave any comments, etc. Thanks.

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"I don't get it..." I placed my hands on my hips and stared at Aerith, my right eyebrow raised in confusion and awe. The words 'still alive' meant that there still was hope to find Cloud, but how could I while I'm still in this coma? Aerith, on the other hand, continued to speak before I could ask anything else.

"Tifa, what happened earlier never even happened, Cloud is still alive...In fact, the past few days never occurred at all...Cloud is returning to 7th Heaven as we speak..." Before she could completely open her mouth, I frowned a little, as I was still completely confused about to what exactly was going on.

"Then what was the _whole point_ of this?" I accidentally put some anger into my words, and I sighed, wishing that Aerith was not offended by my sudden outburst.

"Tifa...you know it...and I'm sure Cloud knows it...you two..." I could feel that Aerith didn't want to complete her sentence, but she did anyway. "...are meant for each other. I couldn't see you two just continue to act as if you were just close friends with Cloud and vice versa, so I wanted to give you a second thought about how you should go on with your future."

Aerith took a few more steps toward me so that she was only a few feet in distance from me. I know I didn't want to say my next sentence out loud with excitement, but that's how I really felt in the inside so I subdued my feelings a little.

"Aerith...thank you."

"No problem...now...close your eyes."

"Why?"

"So you can wake up!"

"That doesn't make any sens -"

"Just do it!"

_Okay...here goes nothing..._

After a few quick moments, I closed my eyes and all I could see was darkness...

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_**Tifa...**_

_**Ti – FA!**_

_**HEY, TIFA! WAKE UP!**_

_**TIFA!!!!**_

I could feel my eyes opening, but they felt so weak as if I hadn't used them in days. I slowly sat up, looking all around to see where I was.

_It's my room... _I thought, still looking around to make sure everything was still in place. _But it's almost night time...and wait...the calendar says January 2nd...Aerith was right...it's as if the day never took place...but that means..._

"Ay, Tifa!"

Somebody suddenly burst the door open, causing it to swing completely open and collide with my dresser. The sound was so loud I jumped a little, looking over to his direction. Realizing that it was only Cid, I relaxed and sighed with relief.

"Oh damn I'm sorry...I didn't know you were restin' in here after your shift but...you got any tea around here? I wanted to fix my ass a cup or two before I go."

_Wait a minute...this is exactly what happened before...I wonder if -_

"Hellooooooooo? Tifa! You got any fuckin' tea here or what?"

Snapping out of my thoughts, I quickly told him what I had said before.

"Yeah Cid, there's a box of tea downstairs in the big closet next to the front counter. The condiments are on the shelf below it."

Blowing his trademark ring of smoke in the air from his cigarette, he smiled and began to leave.

"Thanks...and sorry about the door," After a few seconds, Cid came back, slightly opening the door enough to stick his head in. "Oh yeah, Cloud said he'd be back a little late, he had to give a delivery out in Kalm."

Hearing the door close, I quickly began to change out of my pajamas, putting on my usual matching black top. I walked over to my big dresser and I went through a few drawers until I finally found some nice, black pants to wear, as it was colder than usual outside. Lacing my shoelaces, I could hear the sound of a motorcycle's engine shutting off from outside my window. Looking outside toward the back of the building, I could see the familiar figure of Cloud climbing off of Fenrir. Not noticing that I was staring down at him from my bedroom window, Cloud began to walk around 7th Heaven toward the front entrance.

I could feel my heart racing even faster; the thought of telling Cloud my feelings made me feel even more nervous. But like Aerith said, and her words even surprised me, 'we were meant for each other' and I've been feeling the same way in my heart. I also realized that, if that vision had actually come true, you never know what can happen tomorrow, so you should seize the moment today as if it's your last. I'm guessing that's what Aerith was trying to tell me. I went into my closet, for one last thing: my gray, shiny, leather jacket. Putting it on, I stopped myself in the doorway for a second to go over what I was going to say to Cloud.

_Well, here I go...wish me luck...  
_

Walking down the stairs, I could hear the front door open as Cloud stepped inside. I could feel my heart beating faster than a jackhammer, and I started to walk closer to him. Staring him dead in his green, glowing eyes, I greeted him and I knew that at this moment, I finally had to tell Cloud my feelings.


End file.
